Don't Ask, Don't Tell

“Miss Ching?”

I started and immediately stood up, simultaneously sending my stationery clattering to the floor as I knocked the swinging table down. Everybody else in the class roared with laughter.

Including him.

Mr. Rahman sighed and took off his glasses, wiping it against his shirt. “I suppose you won’t know the answer to my question,” he said wearily. “You may sit down. Miss Gloria? Would you care to answer?”

I sat down and gathered my pens and notepad, eyes glued to the floor. My face is burning. I just hate these swinging table tops. You know, the kind that comes with the chair? This isn’t the first time I messed up in Mr. Rahman’s class. He’s got a habit of putting a Mr. or Miss in front of everybody’s name.

In fact, I’ve been making a fool of myself since the beginning of this semester. Since he joined our class. 

Tall, dark and handsome, built like one of those rugby players you see on ESPN. I can never concentrate when he’s sitting in front. In fact, I have no idea what Mr. Rahman has been teaching this past two months.

“Very good, Miss Gloria. Now, for the next problem…”

I finally gathered all of my stuff and set them down on the empty chair next to me. My friend Mai used to comment on how I’d bring ten different pens to class and never actually used them. I rarely took notes. 

Especially when he’s sitting there. I can feel my face burn again.

One of these days, I’m going to rupture my facial veins just fantasizing like this.

“Mr. Ralph?”

I froze. Oh my God, it’s him! He’s been called!

“Would you demonstrate in front how x would change with y in graphical form?”

I suddenly got very interested on x and y. I settled down comfortably and propped my face on my hands and watched. Smiling like some psychotic stalker. Joker would be proud.

He shrugged and stood up after a pat on the back by one of his friends. He walked slowly to the whiteboard, with a gait that said easy confidence. He picked up the marker and drew a perfect loop between the two lines, smiled (ohmygodhissmileismakingmefaint) and sauntered back to his seat.

Mr. Rahman leaned on the rostrum and looked at Ralph’s masterpiece, an eyebrow raised.

“Unfortunately, Mr. Ralph made a mistake here…” he said, and corrected it with a differently colored pen.

I don’t care. That’s how I’ll be doing my graphs from now on. Oh, he’s just so perfect! I swooned. I can only imagine him wrapping his big, strong arms around me, as he looked me deep in my eyes and said, in his deep, strong voice, “Hey, baby, wanna get married?” And I said… and I said…

“Miss Ching?”

I snapped out of my temporary view of paradise and looked around. Everybody’s looking at me, especially Mr. Rahman. “Is something the matter? You look faint… Ralph, can you take her to the nurse’s office?”

I think I really fainted then, because the next thing I know, I was being carried by someone through a long corridor. I opened one eye and looked, and almost fainted again. Ralph is carrying me in his big, strong arms! I snuggled against his chest and smiled. I could get used to this.

“Here she is,” I heard him say as we arrive at the sick bay, all too soon. His voice is just like I imagined, and I blushed again. I was put on a bed, my temperature taken, and my eyes checked.

He sat on the chair next to the bed and watched. I started blushing again, and the nurse looked alarmed. “Oh, dear, I must get the doctor,” she said, and left us to ourselves.

We sat in silence for a few moments, me fidgeting, and he texting someone. Finally I broke the silence.

“Hey, thanks,”

He looked up. “Oh, no prob,” and looked down again.

“My name’s Ching,”

He smiled. My eyes fluttered again. “Mine’s Ralph,”

I was about to say something else when someone walked in. It was another guy from our class. Damn, what a pest! I clenched my fists under the blanket.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Ching here fainted suddenly,”

The other guy looked at me and held out a hand. “Hi! I’m Joe,”

I shook his hand and smiled. “So, are you guys, like, buddies?”

They both exchanged a look and smiled. Uh-oh. I do NOT like that smile.

“We’re… more than friends,” Joe said, looking deeply into Ralph’s eyes, gripping his left shoulder.

“Yeah,” Ralph said, almost too passionately, “More than friends,”

No. No. No. I decided to push it.

“Like, you guys are in a team together or something?” I said, trying to deny what is slowly dawning on me.

“Nope. Closer than that,” Ralph said as Joe gave him a peck on the cheek.

I dry heaved. This could not be happening to me! All my fantasies, broken! I don’t know what happened next, but I got a three days medical leave after the doctor checked me. Turned out I got a fever right then and there.

I called up my best friend Phoebe and told her what happened. She just laughed and said she’d still try to get him anyways. The slut. I told her I don’t care anymore, and she can do whatever she wanted. I knew that guy was way too perfect to be available.

When I returned to class, I can barely look at him anymore. I still daydream in class, but of what could have been and how I’d like to strangle that guy.

A week later, I saw him making out with Jane under the staircase. I could not believe my eyes. Wait till Joe hears about this! My eyes glinted with vengeance, and I feel like a butterfly as I floated over to Joe, who was having a drink at the fountain.

“Hey,” I said, smiling like the Cheshire cat.

“Oh, hey. Ching, right?” Oh, so Joe has an accent.

“Yeah. Guess what,” I said, my voice getting all excited. “I just saw Ralph making out! With a girl!”

He raised an eyebrow and looked at me as if he was looking at a pink elephant. “Y..eah, so?” he asked. “Have you been watching long?”

I was taken aback. He doesn’t seem mad or jealous at all! Or…

“Wait, isn’t he your boyfriend?” I blurted out. Whoops.

At this, he laughed so hard that he had to hold on to the fountain to keep from falling. All the while I’m standing there, looking like a hammered sheep. “Are you done?”

“Oh, oh, whooo…” he said as he wiped his tears. “You have GOT to be kidding me. He’s my cousin,”

“WHAT?! You kissed him!”

“I’m from French. It’s common for me to kiss my relatives,”

“WHAT?!”